My baby is 10. T-E-N

Dear Tater Bug,

Can I still call you that?

Tater Bug?

Because I feel like I will need to call you that for the rest of my life in to hold on to you as a baby girl.

It's all I have left...

Thingers are Fingers

Theirchother is Each Other

Coldeze is Cold.

And my heart is broken.

I absolutely cannot believe we have gotten to this point.

There are 2 numbers in your age!  2!

I think that the more teachable part of me being your mommy has passed.

I think that the impressions that I have had the opportunity to make, have been made.

I feel like your will and opinion is as meaningful and valid as mine.

You are not a baby anymore.

And let's be honest.  You are better at math than me.

Sad for us both really.

Who you are as an adult is starting to peek through.

And though I don't feel like I have done enough to shape you into a perfect being

I could not be more proud.

Your sweet baby shyness has left forever.

 In it's place I find a kind, warm, loving, young lady.

You care for the less fortunate, you worry for those that go without.  

In any and all aspects of this crazy little thing called life. 

You really do have genuine concern for those around you.

You are a leader

One who knows what she wants and what to do to get it. 

You are a little loud, a little crazy, and a little bossy.

You are learning the fine lines of leading and demanding.

You are getting much better to differentiate between the two.

Much better.

You are learning to 

Do unto others, as you would have others do unto you.

It is a process I love watching.

You teach me so much. 

(math)

But other than that

You remind me that it's not okay to yell

That sometimes I am wrong.

That listening DOES include your eyes

That making up a dance is just useless unless you have coordinated a costume with it.

That tight clothes ARE NOT OKAY!

That socks are meant to be worn inside out.

That praying is not an option

Neither is an after school snack.

That all  food is of value!!

To milk everything you can for all you can.  :)  

Because, well, why not?

You always teach me about the coolest newest songs.

Remind me when the Emmys/Grammys/Whatevvys are on.

Make sure that JackJack is receiving adequate care.  

And let me know when he IS NOT!

I love you.  

There are not words to properly convey exactly how much

but

I LOVE YOU!

I know we still have a long way to go.

I know.  And I thank God, that this journey is still in progress.

I look forward to each and every day with you.

To every quirk, comeback, or intelligent quip that jumps out of those little lips of yours.

It's always an adventure.  That is for sure.

I love you Tatum Kay.

Thank you for knowing me so well

For knowing which part of the Taylor Swift song "Never Grow Up" made me think of you.

You always, always knowing when something will make me cry.

Your sideways glance is always perfectly timed with the first tear that rolls down my cheek.

Whether it is a commercial, song, show, or situation.

You always know.

My sentimental ness is your favorite thing to poke fun of me about

but secretly, I know, it has a very special place in the front of your heart.

I also know.

You are going to be just like me.

I love you little Baby Teetum.

I hope you had a wonderful 10th (T-E-N-T-H!!) Birthday!

Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older, too
And don't lose the way that you dance around
In your PJs getting ready for school

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to
Just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off

So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even through to you want to
Please try to never grow up

Don't you ever grow up
(Never grow up)
Just never grow up

31 things you don't know about me.

It's my birthday.

February 5th is my birthday.  Always has been.

And I was thinking as a special birthday present from me to you

I would let you in on 31 things you don't know about me.

Ya know.  Because I'm 31.

So.  Here we go.

1.  I love my kids in the most obsessive, overzealous, drives everyone else around me crazy, way.
2.  I do not like change.  It gives me a belly ache.
3.  I don't not like to fly.. Maybe ill count all of the things I do not like as one. I do not like seafood, flying, mushrooms, flying, any sort of fighting/boxing on the tv, flying, burn out t's, flying, mean waitresses, flying,  or people with chronically negative attitudes.  Or flying.
4. My favorite movie is The Gladiator.  Or Titanic.  Or Lord of the Rings. Or The Justin Beiber Movie.
5 Me and Tate have hung out with Taylor Swift on her tour bus!  DID YOU HEAR ME!!!? It was rad.
6. If we are watching a movie at home, there is a 100% chance that I will fall asleep.
7. I ALWAYS put my shopping cart back in the cart holder.  Sometimes with my wallet still in the baby seat thingy.
8. I forget my wallet/purse EV RY WHERE!.
9. My husband won't let me have a debit card to his account.  See above.
10. My mom is my best friend.  I cannot imagine life without her.
11.  I yell too much.
12.  I'm always a few steps off when it comes to fashion.  It's just not my thing.  Try as I may.
13. My eye lashes are like, 1 centimeter long.  If that.
14. My nose holes are DIFFERENT SIZES!!  It's so weird.
15. I lived in a trailer (TRAILER!!)  (mobile home) until the 6th grade.  And I totally loved it.
16. I almost always get front row parking spaces.
17. I never answer my phone.  Or call people back.  It's one of my best qualities.  Ask anyone.
18. I am not the biggest fan of newborn babies, apparently the feeling is mutual.  3 months is when we really start to love each other.  And both quit crying all day every day.
19. I still have my tonsils.
20. I just found out last year that sea horses are real things
21. I firmly believe that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
22. I watch Dr. Phil... And  I miss Oprah with all of my heart.
23. I am a maniac about germs, and dangerous situations.  Including crossing at a crosswalk with a red hand.  It has to be a green guy in order to get me into that intersection.  It just has to be.   It's a little irritating to those I love.  I believe that laws and rules are there for a reason.  So I obey pretty much all of them.  Sad huh.
24.  I have watched 3 TV series from start to finish.  Friends, Dawson's Creek and Greys.
oh.  And Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad.  I wish I could find re runs of The Real Housewife series.  Those crazy bittys make my day.
25.  In my head I still think im like 26ish.
26.  I believe that a birthday is not a birthday without at least 3 celebrations
27.  A TV camera following my daily encounters my friends and family would be way better than anything every captured on MTV.  On any given day you could get a fix of  RHW, Big Brother, Survivor, Jersey Shore, and Teen Mom all rolled into one.  Seriously.  Maybe that's why I never answer my phone.
28.  I very genuinely like to help people in any way that I can.
29.  I am sure that I am going to end up on the people of wal mart website.  Let me know if you see  me!
30. Once, in Costa Rica....
Over a river of scary Crocodiles.
After a terrifying (and awesome!!) day of waterfall repelling.
And then a long hike.
While fighting a fierce bout of Montezuma revenge.
Ryan proposed to me on a vveeerrryyyy long & vveeerrryyyy old suspension bridge. (no OSHA!!)
Needless to say, I nearly ruined the moment.   But.  It was one of thee most unforgettable, best moments of my life.  I L-O-V-E my husband.
31.  At least one time throughout the day, i send a little silent prayer up to God.  I pause and think to my self how surprised I am that I really love life.  I have always been a happy, positive person.  However, I never anticipated that my life would be anything more than average.  Isn't that weird?  I have always been happy with average. Expected average.  So the fact that my life is so enjoyable, and fulfilling is something that I have a constant silent appreciation for.  I have had a great 31 years.  Every year has been a learning experience in one way or another. Every year has had trials, and triumphs.
It actually doesn't bother me to be another year older.  Life has only gotten better, and I look forward to each new day, new week, new month, and new year.  My 32nd year wont be perfect, but it will be great.    That is what I now expect as my new average because I know that it is mine to create.

We create our own destiny.  And I firmly believe that.  As if Dr Phil, or Oprah told me it was true.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!!

:)

29

My 29th birthday cake.. Compliments of Ry and Tate I really think I could have just skipped 29 this year? I am ready for 30. I already have 2 wrinkles on my 4 head, and a muffin top. I might as well get this party started.

I am ready to move forward with new places in my life. I have had a great decade, that is for sure. The two loves of my life met me in my twenties. Tatum Kay on March 7, 2002 and Ryan Pond on September 24, 2005. I have been wonderfully selfish, exploratory, and blessed. I have made so many new friends, and learned so much about myself. I think I have really really found myself. (more than likely)

Now I am just ready to move forward with all this new found experience, and knowledge. I AM READY TO BE 30... I am ready to have snot nosed little kids pulling on my pants, I am ready for Tatum to have little brothers and sisters to play with. I am ready to be a better mom, wife, Mormon, and example to other people. I am ready to be a big girl.

But, that's not going to happen for another year.....

YEESSSSSS! I am still in my twenties!! :)


My 29th Birthday Party. Compliments of Ry and Tate as well.. Breaky and Decor. My Faves.