Heather Jo

This is Heather Jo Garrison..

Let me tell you about her..

Well, mostly, I just want to remind me about her
I never want to forget my memories of her.

My life was changed when I met her.

This will not be a short post.

I really want to sit here alone all night and remember my friend.
Great, I'm already a sniveling baby.

Feel free to stop here.

When Eric and I were living in Cedar City I remember seeing this eccentric couple around town. They would always come into Applebees where Eric worked with all of their drama friends. (Drama as in people in plays, not drama as in April Stephanie Melanie)

They were loud, had crazy hair, and clothes, and always seemed to be having the best time.

I remember one night I was baby sitting my sister in laws kids so they could go on a date. They had gone to see the play "The Foreigner." Julie came home just dying about this amazing actor in the play. He was so funny and had made the whole play. She insisted that we go see it. We did. He was. He played a nerdy role, I cant remember exactly what it was but he was hilarious. I recognized him as half of that eclectic couple. His name was Bradford Garrison. They were so intriguing to me!

Another time I remember sitting in the waiting room of Dr Ghafarri's office. Tatum was only about 6 months old and had chronic ear aches. We were always there. One day the eclectic mom (Heather Jo, in case I hadn't made that clear) was there with her 8 month old little girl Talitha Jo. The girls crawled around and played by each other in the waiting room. I never got her name, we just visited about how bad it sucked to have sicky babies. Heather Jo was so cute and so nice. I wanted to be her friend.

Fast Forward 2 Years

Eric was shopping for apartments up in Salt Lake. I was living down in Cedar at the time so the task was left to him. When he was out apartment touring he came to a property called The Springs of Country Woods. The leasing agent there was one Heather Jo Garrison. It was an easy choice. Her kindness and wholesome personality made anyone choosing a home feel at peace. Eric put a deposit down that day.

Tatum and I moved in 2 weeks later.

This was May of 2004

That was a hard time in my life.

I hated living in Salt Lake.

I missed my family.

I had no friends.

My marriage was coming to an end.

Lots of tough stuff.

One day I was down at the pond feeding the ducks when we ran in to Heather Jo and Talitha Jo. Known from this point on as Hjo and Ttjo. Their names.

Tatum and TT hit it off again right away. They didn't even know they had already played together when they were wee rolly polys! Heather and I talked and visited and totally hit it off! I knew we would! I knew we were supposed to be friends!

And they lived right across the yard from us! What luck!

We quickly became the best of friends.

Eric and I were separated, and Bradford was always gone at night for work. (acting & directing)

We took the girls to chicken world (chick fil a)

Mc Juniors (carls junior)

Dino land (the mall play area)

and swimming (swimming)

almost every night of the week.

The girls would swim andd Heather and I would sit in the hot tub and drink pepsi.

We had the best talks and bonded as sisters.

HJo had a sister named April.

She also had a sister that passed away that shared my birthday.
She tried out for American Idol twice

Acted in many plays

Was the glue of her family

compassionate to everyone she met

Got me a job with her at The Springs of Country Woods

Had endless patients with annoying, maddening residents

Took people cookies just to make their day

Walked sick (cancer) Sue's dog everyday

Never had a confrontation in her life

Loved her mom, adored her dad

Took care of her soul mate Bradford

Nurtured her baby Talitha

Worked full time

Worked hard full time

Never said no

Always helped everyone

Her compassion was honestly endless

So was her humor

She called butts bumpers. Now so do we
She Danced

She Sang

Booty shook
Could recite every single line from "Friends" all ten seasons

Drove like a blind crazy woman

Had a life full of very private trials. Probabley some of the toughest trials anyone can imagine.

And then.

And then she got cancer...

Brain Cancer.

Oligodendraglioma.

I'm not even almost done.. FYI

In February of 2005 HJo found out she was pregnant.

Her pregnancy was so rough. She had awful headaches, was exhausted, and couldn't keep much down. Especially towards the end of her pregnancy.

She was so so sick.

These are all symptoms of pregnancy.

I'm not going to lie. We we a** holes a lot of the time.

Prone to human error of not being sympathetic.

Of judging. Disgusting.

Mistakes she made at work that made things harder on us.
Her paperwork being incomplete

Apartments not being walked

Notices not being delivered

Being late all of the time.

But never complaining.

Pregnancy is hard we all thought. We have done it. You still have to pull your weight!

Can you imagine!! Can you imagine people saying such things

I was. I was saying them. About my best friend. Someone I loved dearly!

I will never forgive myself.
Another Hjo lesson learned.

Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch.

Disgusting.

Saturday August 22, 2005 HJo and Bradford came into the office just as we were closing.

She had the day off in preparation for a friends wedding that they were helping out with, and hosting at The Springs of Country Woods clubhouse.

She walked in and made a beeline straight to my desk

She puked in the garbage can, and then laid her head back against my chair telling me how sick she had been all day.

I did feel for her this day.

She had thrown up while touring some prospective residents the day before..

I told her I loved her and left.

That next Sunday afternoon I was at the property swimming pool with Tate.

The life flight helicopter flew over the pool.

I remember looking up and thinking how I hate those helicopters because it means someone loved one is in critical condition.

2 minutes later my cell phone rang.

It was Bradford.

Heather had gone into a coma at their house that afternoon while playing on the floor with TT.

She was foaming from her mouth and wouldn't wake up.

Bradford rushed her to Alta View Hospital

When her got her there she was barely alive. They took her baby even though they were not a hospital equipped for a baby 2 months early.

They feared that if they didn't do that, they would both die during life flight.

They were certain that Heather wouldn't make the trip.

They flew her to LDS hospital.

It was the helicopter.

He was on his way up and needed me to go get TT so that his family could go up to the hospital.

I went and got our other Co Worker Shantel and had her drive me.

I was hysterical.

That night they took a mans fist sized brain tumor from the front of her head.

They said the odds of waking up were slim, and if she did, her brain damage would be substantial.

Her baby was fairing a little better.

They were on separate floors.

Bradford was left running from level to level checking on the lives of his precious family.

A miracle happened.

She woke up.. Just a little. Just enough to ask for her son.
Tayland Reid Bradford Garrison.

By chance, the hospital was needing to do some tests on the baby, and had him on the same floor as Heather. They brought him into the room and laid him on her chest.

At that moment, her strength for life was renewed.

His began.

They both fought so hard and beat so many odds.

Heather was discharged about a week (i think) later.

Tayland had to stay a few weeks longer.

She was fine! Can you even believe it! She had cancer, but she was fine.

She had awful awful terminal cancer, but she was here.

They gave her 6-12 months to live.

She told them to go to hell.

She put up the longest hardest fight you could ever imagine.

She went back to work.

She could drive.

She was her kids mom.

She was Bradfords wife.

She was back.

She was also my maid of honor when I married Ryan.

I know most people think that they love their kids more than everyone else loves their kids

But really, as an OCD mother that cant get enough of my child, I can tell you this..
She loves her kids more.

Her voicemail is of her kids singing

She would send mass texts of cute things her kids would say

She would send mass videos of cute things her kids would do

She talked of them incessantly.

She went through radiation, chemo, another surgery, more radiation, more chemo, and finally last fall, had a chemo port put in her chest because her little veins were to beat up.

All the while comforting everyone who was worried for her and her family.

Never complaining. Just comforting.
Even though she had a headache for 5 years.

5 years. I start crying and demanding comfort and sympathy at 5 hours of a migraine.

That is the truth.

There were plenty of ups and downs from August 05 to May 10.

Remission, and then tumor growth, no growth, more growth. Tumor gone, and then back.

She wowed her doctors, and beat the odds.

All with the knowledge that nobody had ever survived this cancer.

Just imagine for a minute, raising your kids, and going about your daily life knowing you are going to die way before your time.

Watching milestones of your kids, and wondering if you will be around for the next one.

Talking to your kids, and prepping them for the days that will come without their mom.

Plays, awards, vacations, graduations, weddings.

And even more, the every day things.

Days that TT will come home from school crying because she had a fight with her friends. Tayland not being picked to play at the lunch time basketball game.

Everyday heart aches that inevitably come with raising kids.

She wont be there to be heatherjoish to them. Help them. Comfort them. Love them better.

How do you go on with your life with such an amazing disposition?

I don't think I could.

She did.

Last summer we took our girls to the Miley Cyrus concert.

We had such a good time.

The words to "The Climb" changed dramatically for me that night as I looked over to see Tt sitting on Heathers lap. Cheek to cheek, as her mommy sang the words in her ear.

Over the holidays 2009 she began to get worse.

Another tumor had popped up behind her ear, on top of one of her sensory nerves.

This made it hard for her to walk without motion sickness, and especially to be in a car.

Even then, she put how she was feeling aside to fly to New York with Bradford and Tt.

This was January of 2010

She wanted to take Tt to Broadway.

Memories. She wanted to make memories.

Im sure that was such a tough trip for her.

In April things got really bad. She was back to feeling the way she did before they initially found the tumor. Throwing up 30 plus times daily. Nothing could touch her headache.

On April 14th Hjos mom, Kathryn, called just as I was on my way home from work.

Bradford was at play rehersal, Kathryn had strep throat. With Heather being on such high chemo doses she didnt feel like she should be the one to help her that night with the kids.

She said she felt prompted to call me.

I immediately turned around and headed to Heathers.

I stopped and picked up movies, cheetos, and gatorade for the kids.

We had a great talk that night.

Mind you, she was still her. She was still lucid and sharp as a tack.

She just couldn't get out of bed much.

We laid on her bed and talked. She told me she knew the end was near.

She said she was tired, and that she felt like she was sick of being sick.

She asked me to be in her kids life forever.

To always make sure Tt knew what was fashionable. Also, to help her to become a strong independent female. She said she had always admired that about me.

She wants me to make sure that her daughter is not a door mat.

She asked me to make sure that we help Tayland if he wants to play sports. Ryan played major league baseball, and she asked if he would please coach him if he so desired.

Bradford is full of amazing talents. Sports are not one of them.

She wanted to make sure that Tayland had all the options he wanted for his future talents.

Just when you think all of your daily responsibilities are overwhelming.

Try being restricted to a bed delegating the whole lives of your children.

I tucked all 3 of them tucked into Heathers bed are started "Where the wild things are."

As I was leaving, little Tayland told me he wanted a snack.

I went out and got him the cheetos.

He told me that is not a snack.

Tayland had his top 4 front teeth knocked out last year when he feel against a cement wall.

He is not the easiest to understand.

He gets frustrated, naturally, when someone can't understand him.

Well I couldnt.

A cheeto is a snack in my house. Or a bowl of goldfish.

Heather fondly petted her sons head cooing for him to calm down.

She explained to me that a snack at their house is a plate of grapes, cheese cubes, and crackers.

How will anyone know that! How will anyone know what Taylands snacks are?

His mom was going to be gone soon, and nobody would be able to help him communicate what a snack is. I prayed to God to please let her stay here with her kids. They need her.

This is not to minimize Bradford. He is a wonderful dad. He really is. He is so good and patient with his kids. He is a really close second to a mother. The only problem is, Heather Jo makes him who he is too. What would he be without her? Could he still be his functioning self?

After I left that night I got this text from Heather.

Thank you for stopping by tonight, those efforts are really the things that make it all worth it.

Sorry for complaining so much.

She didnt complain once that night.

What an angel.

She had an MRI 2 days later. April 16, 2010. They gave her days to live. The cancer was everywhere. They would be managing her from home with hospice.

On April 27th I woke up to this Hjo text

Dude-I love you and havent mentioned it yet today.

How lucky I am to have such a friend in my life.

Bradford limited her to just family. I am eternally thankful to him for considering me as such. I love both of their families. They are awesome.

Eclectic and awesome. The most talented bunch of people around.

Heather Jos mom is in the Mo Tab.

Let me tell you about her.

Kathryn

She was married and had two daughters.

Her first husband died of a heart condition.

She remarried and had Heather

When heather was 12 her sister Lisa unexpectedly died of the same heart condition.

Her sister died of cancer (Kathryns)

Her oldest daughter April has the same heart condition

And now Heather Jo. Given days to live.

You would never know she has endured so much loss. She has white hair down to her waist.

Big white teeth that are always showing because she is always smiling

Her skin looks like that of a 20 year old.

She is a woman of god and emulates it wherever she goes.

No wonder she raised such an amazing daughter.

The week of May 10, Hjo geared up for a final trip with her family. She was in a wheelchair by this time, and her cohearency was a little comprimised. Just a little.

They went to Vegas to be pampered by her wealthy uncle.

Their suite had a hottub on the balcony.

They made more memories.

On May 12 Bradford sent out this text

Four little Garrisons sitting out under the stars and palm trees singing lullabys, laughing and eating cheesecake. We will remember this forever.

Again. I am so grateful to be considered privy to these precious moments.

After her last awful diagnosis, we spent I spent a lot of time with her. We had a lot of fun.

We went to the mall. Had dinner. Manis. and took our kids to one last dino land visit.

We went out for our favorite melting pot visit.

We layed in bed and reminiced.

On Sunday May 16 Billee and I saw our sweet little Hjo for the last time.

Nobody should see someone they love like that.

She had deteriorated so fast from the prior Tuesday that we had spent at the mall.

She couldnt see.

She was laying flat down.

She was so thirsty, but couldnt keep anything down.

The liquid morphine given to her burned her mouth, only to be thrown back up minutes later, giving her no headache relief.

It was awful.

She didnt make sense all of the time, but was able to share a few old memories.

We laughed.

Although through wet, snotty tears.

When we all worked together at The Springs, we would play this game when we were slow.

We would say, "pretend you just found out you have herpes". Then we would make a face, and take a picture with our camera phone. They were always halarious pictures. She wanted to play that game on this Sunday. The pictures were still halarious.

She started to become obviously fatigued. We told her it was okay, that she could go to sleep.

She said she didnt want to, because she knew it would be the last time she saw us.

It was.

On Monday May 17 Hospice put her on a morphine patch.

She went to sleep.

On Tuesday May18 I received this text from Kathryn

Our dear sweet Heather Jo slipped peacefully away at 830 this evening. It's finally over.

She went just the way she wanted to. Peacefully. At home. With her family.

I went to visit Bradford and the kids the next day.

Death is the weirest thing. It is so so hard to know what to say, how to act. Even how to feel.

It is still weird to me that she isnt here. I think I still feel her around, but again, thats a weird thing, and its hard to know. I sure miss her, and her sweet texts though.

Her memorial concert was held at Hale Center theatre. A theatre in the round.

It was very intimate

It was held on Tuesday, May 25, 2010.

Her 29th Birthday.

It was amazing. It was chalk full of her talented inner circle

Every song was hand picked by Heather.

A gift that she orchastrated for her family and friends.

One last act of compassion and kindness.

Pianos, guitars, acapella solos, slide shows and comedic acts.

I would like to think I would have been asked to be a part of the concert, but I dont actually have any talents. :)

They had HJo's body creamated so that they could take her with them wherever they went.

On her Urn it says this

You are the pearls I could not buy

You are the trip I did not take

You are my piece of forgien sky

You are my blue Italian lake.

She picked that out. Beautiful huh?

Since then, I have still been blessed to be a part of Heathers life.

I am in contact with Bradford almost everyday.

Over memorial weekend, we took Tt to Mesquite with us.

Made cookies and crafts with Grandpa

(we established shared grandparents long ago)

Tatum taught her how to swim.

She taught Tatum manners. (or tried hard anyways)

She won the dance contest at the pool.

She was patient and funny with my step dad and uncle who only call her Jo.

She answers only to that when around my family. Embracing anything that comes her way.

If someone called Tatum a boy name, she would freak the freak out.

On Saturday June 5th Bradford invited me to his closing show of "The Three Musketeers."

Actually Heather had previously invited me to attend that show with her. Bradford was kind enough to make sure that we were able to keep that date.

It was the evening of their 10th anniversary.

He ordered a huge huge huge huge bouquet of flowers.

I picked them up on my way

And when I got there, I was escorted to the front row.

There was a seat for me, and a seat for the flowers I was holding.

We watched Bradford perform a killer King Louie. He is an amazing actor.

During the last act, I could see tears streaming down Bradfords face.

The crowd was standing, and cheering. I was crying.

I know Hjo would have never picked to miss one of "bubby's" closing shows. Oh how she loved her husband and family. They made her so proud.

I will never understand why one tiny little person was sent here to endure such trials.

Im sure you all know someone that has inspired your life with their strength.

Never take them for granted.

Never go a day without applying the lessons they teach you.

Life is to short to complain all the time

Life is to short to not live it to the fullest and love as fircely as you can.

Really.

It really is....